Food & Family

I expect most of us inherited or learned certain attitudes about food from our families. I know that was the case with me. Growing up, food was a central theme in our holiday gatherings, and meals were was brought the family together. As a young child, living on a large property in northern Virginia, I was lucky to have parents who decided to plant and tend a large garden. Every year, they'd pay a local farmer to bring his tractor over and till the land so we could plant all kinds of vegetables. We spent many a day or afternoon in the garden together, tending and watering our plants.

When it was time for the corn, green beans, peas, eggplant, tomato, pumpkins, etc., we'd have a big gathering and we'd eat that food for months. Similarly, we had a lot of wild blackberries growing on our land, and I used to go pick a large bowlful to take back to my mother, who'd make a blackberry pie out of them.

In short, my family loved food! I think at that period of time, it was a healthy relationship, because we worked so hard planting and growing it, and we definitely ate lots of fresh vegetables. After we moved to a new house in a new subdivision, and my parents were both working full time, my family's love of food quickly became unhealthy.

They eat when they are depressed, and they eat when they are happy. To them, food is a comfort, and it is a reward. These are attitudes which contributed to my own unhealthy attitudes towards food as an adolescent who was overweight. It wasn't until I moved out as a young adult and began buying and cooking food for myself that I began examining my own feelings about food. I came to believe that food, itself, should be neither a positive or a negative influence, but simply neutral. It shouldn't be used as a punishment ("You better eat your peas if you want ice cream!") and it shouldn't be a reward ("Wow, I lost ten pounds. Let's celebrate with cheesecake!"). Both can easily lead to dysfunctional attitudes towards food.

Food should not be used as a substitute for other things either, like emotional comfort. Of course, everyone does this from time to time, but making a habit of it does not seem healthy to me. Instead, I remind myself that just because I'm going to the mall or a movie, it does not require me to eat the most fattening, unhealthy food to go along with the entertainment. I always try to keep some sort of border in my mind which says, food is food, and fun is fun!