Mentality of Violence

The question was posed in Women's Health this week, "What can a woman do to reduce her risks of being assaulted?" I guess my pithy answer would be, "stop breathing." The question pre-supposes that a woman is, a, living in a society which empowers women and gives them ability to extricate themselves from an unequal relationship, and that she, b, wants to get away from a bad situation. If those conditions are met, there is a lot a woman can do to protect herself, providing she has enough self-worth and common sense to realize when a relationship or a situation is posing serious danger. Unfortunately, I've witnessed a few relationships where the woman involved was being verbally and physically abused, but instead of leaving the relationship, sought to make excuses for her partner or pretend the abuse wasn't happening. When children are involved, it only complicates the issue tenfold.

The other issue is when they don't have the common sense to realize that they are doing something dangerous--like going to a party full of strangers, drinking the spiked punch, and then following it down with about ten more drinks. I've seen both women and men engage in such senseless behavior, and the truth is, both sexes are at risk nowadays from date rape and physical assault in such events, but women especially. I am not blaming the woman for being raped, but I think it is disingenuous to state that women are "strong" and "empowered" and just as intelligent as their male peers, but then turn around and treat them like they are all victims-in-waiting. Women can and do have a responsibility to take precautions to protect themselves; if they indulge in high risk behavior with high risk people (i.e., the scum of society), then they are placing themselves in acute danger of being harmed. It is impossible to envision or guard against every single possibility, and women should not have to bear that burden anyway--but in the cases of obvious, well, lunacy, in my opinion, it's frustrating. Good prevention habits can be as simple as taking a couple of trusted friends to a party, and watching each other's back, and making sure nobody goes off with a strange guy in the bedroom alone after having several drinks. But, it seems that many women and men practice poor judgment in these types of situations and so they fall victim to opportunistic sexual predators.

There are so many cases in the world of violence where women have NO power and NO ability to protect themselves legally or physically. In a society where we do have such rights, I wish some women (and men!) would use the brains God gave them and either avoid high risk situations, in the first place, or take steps to mitigate the risks. Many rapes and assaults could be avoided this way, and resources could be focused on those cases where assault and abuse are far more difficult to prevent or avoid.

JMO.

Dealing with Drug Addicts

The question came up in Women's Studies this week, should drug addicts be imprisoned or should they be made to go into drug rehabilitation programs? In my mind, both answers are wrong, because both imply that outside force is enough to break the internal bonds of addiction. Physical weaning is possible, but how does compelling a person who does not wish to stop taking drugs to be forcibly separated for her addiction also achieve psychological independence? Drugs are often a salve for many problems, such as homelessness, joblessness, unresolved emotional turmoil, and broken or dysfunctional relationships. It is almost laughable that sending, for example, someone who is doing drugs because she has zero self-esteem, due to being raped at age 12 by a trusted relative, to prison to punish and wean her from her addiction would work. Prisons are notorious for smuggled drug activity anyway--it is likely she'd still find a source, and prison would only give her more reason to hate herself and want to find a way to anesthetize her pain.

Similarly, requiring her to attend a drug therapy program will also not work if she is not willing. She can simply return to her habit after she has completed the program, or even drop out before finishing.

I believe the best way to address drug addiction is through programs such as MHMR-Tarrant County's, which is where my husband works. Their substance abuse program is predicated on designing a plan of treatment that is based on the client's own goals for his or her future. If a homeless client wants to get off the street and into an apartment, for example, MHMR-TC designs steps to help her achieve those goals, by helping her wean herself off the drugs, while building her self-confidence through workshops, providing therapy, and connecting her to a variety of education programs and resources.

And it must be voluntary, or it will only seem that outside forces are, once again, in charge of her life. If there's one thing I've observed in known drug users, is that many feel very much out of control already. In order to feel "in charge" again, they need to be their own agents of change, lest they feel that they are merely powerless--a perception that is greatly at odds with the intent to break and addiction.

Catching the Crazy

Since I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression six months after Jackson was born, I thought I'd share my experiences here. I have to say that if you are one of those women who don't enjoy pregnancy, like me, it doesn't seem to improve for a looong while after the baby actually arrives. I know I was clinically depressed my whole pregnancy, mostly because I didn't want to be pregnant, I was very sick, and the weight gain (a whopping 25 lbs) caused an inflammation of my sciatic nerve that bothers me to this day.

Anyway, after having Jackson, in the middle of a Pennsylvania winter, no less, I got bad pretty quick. Apparently, having a family history and a baby that never sleeps more than two hours at a given time will have that effect on your mental health. Also, I was dealing with some painful breastfeeding issues. And, by the way, if I ever hear another breastfeeding advocate wax on about the conveniences of breastfeeding, I will be sorely tempted to violence. Oh, I don't dispute the health benefits and all that; it's just that waking up two or three times a night to strip your bed and change sheets because you've leaked all over them like some manic dairy cow is not my idea of "ease" and "convenience!"

Ok, rant over. Where was I? Manic cows...no sleep...oh yeah! Postpartum depression, which actually seems to me not to be so much a disorder, but the body's quite natural and understandable protestation for months of abuse, culminating in a tremendous physical event (birth!) followed up by long nights of obnoxious nurses slamming hospital doors loudly and a crying, hungry baby.

Of course it's a hormonal imbalance. Please, show me one other instance where the body has such physical and emotional demands put on it, for a sustained period of time, without enough rest, and the hormones don't go haywire?

But anyway, in my case, I started seeing a psychiatrist and I switched Jackson to formula. Both decisions had the noticeable effect of allowing me to sleep better, and being to enjoy motherhood. PPD actually prevented my ability to bond with Jackson, and so unfortunately, it was probably six months or so before I began to feel "happy" and attached to him. It was such a difficult time to go through that it has been the single biggest deterrent in getting pregnant again. I just won't go through it again!

Short of Breath

If I have to be honest--and as this is a blog, I'd be missing the point if I failed to blather about my personal life to the four corners of the world wide web--I really don't want to write here this evening. It isn't just that this has been a long, tiresome week, and I've been worrying about a friend who has had several mysterious and forbidding symptoms for several months now. Or, that I'm in the middle of an intense semester, and wish it was mid-December instead.

On top of everything else, I had to take my cat, Gremlin, to the S.P.C.A. today, after six months of futile searching for a home for him. I have had him since he was a kitten, and he has absolutely, without exception, been the most amazing pet I have ever had. I've been crying off and on all day today, feeling like I've betrayed an old friend, and yet I could see no other choice.

Because Jackson has asthma, and one of his more serious allergies is to the protein in cat saliva. Thus, making him extremely susceptible to severe asthmatic episodes by simply being too close to cat hair (that has, of course, been regularly bathed by its owner's feline tongue).

So, if I had to think about chronic diseases for this blog assignment (and it's hard, because I'm still weepy), I decided that asthma is, indirectly, most definitely affecting me right now, and my emotional health. Call it trite, but it seems unfair to me that a chronic disease, like asthma, can cause such disruptions in the lives of so many women, besides myself. It can range from the very "petty" (no pun intended), like being forced to give up a beloved cat or dog, to the very severe, like being hospitalized (as my son has been on three different occasions).

According to the CDC (2002), women are not only negatively affected by this disease, but to a much greater degree than men. They are hospitalized more, they seek medical treatment more often for it, and they even die at greater rates in this country, than do men with asthma (CDC, 2002).

But, it affects them in other ways as well. According to the findings of a survey, Women and Asthma in America (Medscape, 2006), many women reported that their loved ones were very concerned or worried about their (the women's) asthma, that they were forced to cancel social events or participate in them, and that their asthma even affected their sex lives.

I can believe it. I see how Jackson has to make concessions for his illness (Gremlin was his buddy, too), in how he is much more easily physically stressed than his peers, even though his asthma is supposedly under good control. I hope he is not limited as he grows up, but it seems to me that as more and more Americans are diagnosed with this disease, due to a variety of causes, (but most glaringly, diet and environment) we are going to see an increase in cases which are hard to control, and even the numbers of attributable deaths.

As it seems women already bear more than half the burden for adult cases of asthma in this country (CDC, 2002), that prospect does not bode well for women's health.


Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. (2002). Asthma: A heavy burden for women. Retrieved on November 8, 2008 from http://www.cdc.gov/women/newsltr/02fall.htm

Medscape. (2006). Asthma may be undermanaged in a majority of women. Retrieved on November 8, 2008 from http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/411139