Since I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression six months after Jackson was born, I thought I'd share my experiences here. I have to say that if you are one of those women who don't enjoy pregnancy, like me, it doesn't seem to improve for a looong while after the baby actually arrives. I know I was clinically depressed my whole pregnancy, mostly because I didn't want to be pregnant, I was very sick, and the weight gain (a whopping 25 lbs) caused an inflammation of my sciatic nerve that bothers me to this day.
Anyway, after having Jackson, in the middle of a Pennsylvania winter, no less, I got bad pretty quick. Apparently, having a family history and a baby that never sleeps more than two hours at a given time will have that effect on your mental health. Also, I was dealing with some painful breastfeeding issues. And, by the way, if I ever hear another breastfeeding advocate wax on about the conveniences of breastfeeding, I will be sorely tempted to violence. Oh, I don't dispute the health benefits and all that; it's just that waking up two or three times a night to strip your bed and change sheets because you've leaked all over them like some manic dairy cow is not my idea of "ease" and "convenience!"
Ok, rant over. Where was I? Manic cows...no sleep...oh yeah! Postpartum depression, which actually seems to me not to be so much a disorder, but the body's quite natural and understandable protestation for months of abuse, culminating in a tremendous physical event (birth!) followed up by long nights of obnoxious nurses slamming hospital doors loudly and a crying, hungry baby.
Of course it's a hormonal imbalance. Please, show me one other instance where the body has such physical and emotional demands put on it, for a sustained period of time, without enough rest, and the hormones don't go haywire?
But anyway, in my case, I started seeing a psychiatrist and I switched Jackson to formula. Both decisions had the noticeable effect of allowing me to sleep better, and being to enjoy motherhood. PPD actually prevented my ability to bond with Jackson, and so unfortunately, it was probably six months or so before I began to feel "happy" and attached to him. It was such a difficult time to go through that it has been the single biggest deterrent in getting pregnant again. I just won't go through it again!
2 comments:
Its unfortunate that you had such a bad experience with your pregnancy. The important part of your struggle is you knew something was wrong with yourself. PPD has so many reactions to women and not all women have the same symptoms.
Breastfeeding is not for everyone, the important part is you tried. Breastfeeding has worked for and was easier for me as well. My baby had the same issues of waking up every two hours for a couple of weeks and slowly she started to sleep more. I was so sore from the c-section breastfeeding was easier for me at night because I struggled to get in and out of bed with the excruciating pain. I am glad you got help and you are enjoying your life now.
AnnMarie Bartolo
All I can say is AMEN!! I know exactly how you felt because I felt the exact same way. When I was pregnant with my son Mikah I was misrable, sick, swollen had gestantianl diabetes, edma, you name it I had it. I had my doctor put me on Lexapor 2 months after my son was born. I knew I wasnt right and wanted something to make me feel better. All I did was cry and couldnt find the strength to want to deal with my newborn, which in turn made me more sad. It is a vicous cycle if you do not get help. I am happy that you were able to get help and I share the same opinion as you I dont want anymore kids because I had such a horrible pregnancy, delivery and life after the baby. Good post!
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