Mentality of Violence

The question was posed in Women's Health this week, "What can a woman do to reduce her risks of being assaulted?" I guess my pithy answer would be, "stop breathing." The question pre-supposes that a woman is, a, living in a society which empowers women and gives them ability to extricate themselves from an unequal relationship, and that she, b, wants to get away from a bad situation. If those conditions are met, there is a lot a woman can do to protect herself, providing she has enough self-worth and common sense to realize when a relationship or a situation is posing serious danger. Unfortunately, I've witnessed a few relationships where the woman involved was being verbally and physically abused, but instead of leaving the relationship, sought to make excuses for her partner or pretend the abuse wasn't happening. When children are involved, it only complicates the issue tenfold.

The other issue is when they don't have the common sense to realize that they are doing something dangerous--like going to a party full of strangers, drinking the spiked punch, and then following it down with about ten more drinks. I've seen both women and men engage in such senseless behavior, and the truth is, both sexes are at risk nowadays from date rape and physical assault in such events, but women especially. I am not blaming the woman for being raped, but I think it is disingenuous to state that women are "strong" and "empowered" and just as intelligent as their male peers, but then turn around and treat them like they are all victims-in-waiting. Women can and do have a responsibility to take precautions to protect themselves; if they indulge in high risk behavior with high risk people (i.e., the scum of society), then they are placing themselves in acute danger of being harmed. It is impossible to envision or guard against every single possibility, and women should not have to bear that burden anyway--but in the cases of obvious, well, lunacy, in my opinion, it's frustrating. Good prevention habits can be as simple as taking a couple of trusted friends to a party, and watching each other's back, and making sure nobody goes off with a strange guy in the bedroom alone after having several drinks. But, it seems that many women and men practice poor judgment in these types of situations and so they fall victim to opportunistic sexual predators.

There are so many cases in the world of violence where women have NO power and NO ability to protect themselves legally or physically. In a society where we do have such rights, I wish some women (and men!) would use the brains God gave them and either avoid high risk situations, in the first place, or take steps to mitigate the risks. Many rapes and assaults could be avoided this way, and resources could be focused on those cases where assault and abuse are far more difficult to prevent or avoid.

JMO.